It was there, by that big rock, that Harry first met Heidi.
He didn’t actually meet her that day. From the top of the beach Harry saw a long legged, flaxen haired, golden goddess, strutting her stuff along the shoreline – and he fell in love. Perhaps ‘love’ is too strong a word. ‘Lust’ might be more appropriate.
“That’s my kind of female!”
“Dream on,” his friend Mick warned. “Her name is Heidi and we all fancy her, but she doesn’t want to know. You wouldn’t stand a chance.”
Harry was good looking, but he didn’t have the physique of a romantic hero. He came from good Yorkshire stock and he’d inherited the neat body and rather short legs of his ancestry. “Built for work and for walking the moors,” he’d proudly say. But he didn’t exactly stand out in a crowd.
After a week of waiting and watching, Harry knew Heidi’s routine, but he was no nearer to making that initial contact.
“Foreign girls!” declared Mick. “They’re more trouble than they’re worth.” Anglesey born and bred Mick knew everything there was to know about everyone.
“Foreign?”
“Yeah, she’s Scandinavian apparently. Got Viking blood in her veins, I’ve heard.”
Harry knew a bit about the Vikings. He’d slept through most of a program on TV but he remembered a lot of fighting and killing – a very rowdy bunch. But maybe that was the answer. Maybe he wasn’t being masterful enough? Well, if she liked rough and tough, he could do that.
The next morning, Harry was waiting by the shoreline. He knew her route – the corner of the bay to the breakwater and back, three times. The first run he let her go but when she turned for the second, he was standing right in her path. At first he thought she hadn’t seen him. Those oh-so-long legs were coming straight towards him at a rate of knots that took his breath away. This could be the encounter of a lifetime.
She was almost within touching distance when she braked and danced to the right. Harry was ready, he stepped to the left. She moved left. He mirrored her. Back and forth went this strange, sparring-courtship ritual. Suddenly, Heidi stood still and leaned forward. “No!” she snarled.
Harry hadn’t planned for this scenario. “Hi, my name’s Harry and I want…”
“I know what you want. I’ve seen you watching me.” Heidi rose to her full, majestic height. “You’re all the same, you little guys, more testosterone than you can deal with.”
“I’m not like that,” Harry lied.
She gave him a look that would have frozen boiling water, except that it went right over his head. “I see, so it’s walking side by side into the future and you want to be the father of my children. Well, no way!”
“Oh! You don’t like children?”
“Of course I like children but can you imagine anyone wanting a cross between a Yorkshire Terrier and a Great Dane?
K.M.5/6/20
He didn’t actually meet her that day. From the top of the beach Harry saw a long legged, flaxen haired, golden goddess, strutting her stuff along the shoreline – and he fell in love. Perhaps ‘love’ is too strong a word. ‘Lust’ might be more appropriate.
“That’s my kind of female!”
“Dream on,” his friend Mick warned. “Her name is Heidi and we all fancy her, but she doesn’t want to know. You wouldn’t stand a chance.”
Harry was good looking, but he didn’t have the physique of a romantic hero. He came from good Yorkshire stock and he’d inherited the neat body and rather short legs of his ancestry. “Built for work and for walking the moors,” he’d proudly say. But he didn’t exactly stand out in a crowd.
After a week of waiting and watching, Harry knew Heidi’s routine, but he was no nearer to making that initial contact.
“Foreign girls!” declared Mick. “They’re more trouble than they’re worth.” Anglesey born and bred Mick knew everything there was to know about everyone.
“Foreign?”
“Yeah, she’s Scandinavian apparently. Got Viking blood in her veins, I’ve heard.”
Harry knew a bit about the Vikings. He’d slept through most of a program on TV but he remembered a lot of fighting and killing – a very rowdy bunch. But maybe that was the answer. Maybe he wasn’t being masterful enough? Well, if she liked rough and tough, he could do that.
The next morning, Harry was waiting by the shoreline. He knew her route – the corner of the bay to the breakwater and back, three times. The first run he let her go but when she turned for the second, he was standing right in her path. At first he thought she hadn’t seen him. Those oh-so-long legs were coming straight towards him at a rate of knots that took his breath away. This could be the encounter of a lifetime.
She was almost within touching distance when she braked and danced to the right. Harry was ready, he stepped to the left. She moved left. He mirrored her. Back and forth went this strange, sparring-courtship ritual. Suddenly, Heidi stood still and leaned forward. “No!” she snarled.
Harry hadn’t planned for this scenario. “Hi, my name’s Harry and I want…”
“I know what you want. I’ve seen you watching me.” Heidi rose to her full, majestic height. “You’re all the same, you little guys, more testosterone than you can deal with.”
“I’m not like that,” Harry lied.
She gave him a look that would have frozen boiling water, except that it went right over his head. “I see, so it’s walking side by side into the future and you want to be the father of my children. Well, no way!”
“Oh! You don’t like children?”
“Of course I like children but can you imagine anyone wanting a cross between a Yorkshire Terrier and a Great Dane?
K.M.5/6/20