Romeo, O Romeo, how did yonder window break?
Did you bite off more than ye can possibly undertake?
 
I forswear such a sight has never been seen
Romeo, all entangled in the wire flyscreen
 
‘Tis purgatory, hell itself, to decorate on the cheap
That which you call a ceiling rose, is still incomplete
 
Painting brings with it, much to beg and borrow
If fads and trends you intend to follow
 
Nothing did I say when you replaced an old family antique
With new fangled fashionable shabby chic
 
But out, out with your dammed spots and florals
Any more gingham and you and I will surely quarrel
 
I have tackled spackle for thee
Oh unhappy nagger I see before me
 
Steal that immortal blessing for your oath, that less is more
And trendsetters from now on, you will ignore
 
No more tassel toiling torment for their delight
From dawn's first ray to way past midnight
 
That tongue and groove may prove my disgrace
Be it plain and homely, is more to my taste
 
I beseech you Romeo, reconsider your mad idea
Pray cancel tomorrow’s shopping trip to Ikea!